Coaching from Shame: Deal with your own sh*t first

Hey entrepreneurs. Having your shame, guilt and emotions all over the place is messing with the relationships you have with your clients. You say you want to build trust and create community but you are really causing harm to your audience and yourself. Clients are refusing to engage with coaches who are using abusive tactics such as bullying and are looking for safe spaces. Wanna know why your Facebook Group is stagnant? It’s time to deal with your outdated coaching practices.

To be a coach is to need to do a lot of inner work. It is to be open to doing that work. When we ignore our own needs, we show up sounding like motivational posters and not real people. Fancy, snappy slogans help launder our own shame. These trappings help us seem confident and well put together. They allow us to stay in our comfort zones where we pass along our shame to those whom we are supposed to serve. 


We are serious about changing the way this coaching industry is done. 

“Do you wanna stop harming yourself as a coach or entrepreneur? Are you ready to stop harming your clients? There is a different way of being. “

In this episode you will learn:

  • What should I do about my unpublished drafts in TikTok or my blog?

  • How do I deal with failure as a neurodivergent entrepreneur? 
  • Isn’t it time to do something different to engage your private coaching community? 
  • We all have hidden business sins or mistakes we don’t want others to know about. 
  • Are you tired of all these cult-like Facebook Groups? 
  • Why do Business Owners need to practice Shadow Work? 

We posted a question on Facebook and Loreal Moss of Intuitive Biz Solutions gave us some real examples of Shame Based Coaching.

Shaming for any reason:
Hey, I see you’re fat wanna join beach body? Wanna buy these supplements to help you get healthier and lose weight?
I see you’re a stay at home mom who doesn’t make a lot of money (I assume). Wanna join my mlm so you can stay with your kids and not be broke?
Hey, I see you’re struggling with some things financially. Wanna get this reading so you can get clarity because clearly you make poor decisions and can’t be trusted?
“If you’re not a millionaire by now, you don’t want it bad enough”
“If you’re selling low ticket offers, you’re lazy and not dedicated enough or you just don’t believe in yourself…OR you can’t deliver at a higher price point and you’ll never reach your financial goals.”
You’re a crappy writer, hire me so I can create content for you that might help you make money – messaging and solid offer be damned.

Here are some additional coaching tools & resources

Scripts People Live: Transactional Analysis of Life Scripts

In Scripts People Live, Steiner expands upon this belief to show that people are innately healthy but develop a pattern early in life-based upon negative or positive influences of those around them.  

Do you have hundreds of unpublished drafts sitting somewhere?

Let me help you out with a no-pressure chat. Schedule your Chat w Contessa below. Please DO NOT USE this link for anything else. 

The NeuroVerse Collective
A thinking, doing & watching community where we equip world builders with the tools to imagine, to build and to be. Enter your email below if you are ready to do coaching differently.


Do you wanna learn more about the crypto space with Contessa Cooper?

Dr. Kimberly Douglass has tools available for our neurodivergent creators.


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